Relief
It’s been so long since I’ve written. The summer has definitely been a whirlwind of traveling, decompressing, hanging out and coming to terms with the boyfriend.
I realize I will never understand the dude and I feel extraordinarily relieved that we decided to become friends. After two years of breaking up and trying to make things work out, I’m just happy that it’s over. We’re just two very different people. Sometimes it just takes that long to admit…
I’m not sure why I kept looking for signs when I was ignoring the biggest sign that I just wasn’t happy and couldn’t love him for who he was. Of course we were both upset and sad the night we broke up. It was so sudden but inevitable. I was mopey, moody and wallowed in my sorrow. We wrote each other a couple of soulful emails. I made sappy playlists.
Two days after we broke up, I dropped by to return some CDs that I stole from him. After some cautious apprehension, we relaxed as we chatted, respecting each other’s space and our new relationship as we watched the Yanks sweep Boston. It felt good and it felt right to be friends. I’m sure we will miss each other and our companionship in the days to come, but I think we will be happy too.